you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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