I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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