then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You may now shotgun with the bride
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize