white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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