I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
