distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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