I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I would fuck him just for his dog
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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