I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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