GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
