..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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