You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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