dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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