Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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