This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
vagina is talking i cant
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
