Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
