i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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