I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
