I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
