this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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