My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
