Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
