she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
