I showed him my bush... on skype.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize