Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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