I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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