At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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