I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
