I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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