I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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