thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize
