If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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