so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
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Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
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I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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