why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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