Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just want to make out with him forever
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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