just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
