what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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