hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
