Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
