Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

ugh yes i love our date nights

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(217): View more from Illinois

I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'

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(519): View more from Ontario

The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.

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(209): View more from California

So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.

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