Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.

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  (630): but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up. http://tfl.nu/psea
  Replies (29) Good night (653) Bad night (995)
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  (310): View more from California

  I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"

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  (310): I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers" http://tfl.nu/rpqk
  Replies (11) Good night (726) Bad night (2383)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..

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  (613): so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward.. http://tfl.nu/92jg
  Replies (19) Good night (4604) Bad night (1273)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.

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  (978): Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win. http://tfl.nu/r148
  Replies (13) Good night (8738) Bad night (933)
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  (661): View more from California

  So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?

  (818): View more from California

  I hate you.

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  (661): So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night? (818): I hate you. http://tfl.nu/ps95
  Replies (9) Good night (5035) Bad night (928)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.

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  (952): Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you. http://tfl.nu/1zuw
  Replies (13) Good night (1292) Bad night (3977)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick

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  (423): Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick http://tfl.nu/qnn8
  Replies (21) Good night (1413) Bad night (2056)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  SMART GIRL

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  (978): there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's (1-978): SMART GIRL http://tfl.nu/njon
  Replies (2) Good night (1741) Bad night (604)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup

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  (845): Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup http://tfl.nu/4mdx
  Replies (6) Good night (1035) Bad night (522)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.

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  (+44): Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is. http://tfl.nu/4j3n
  Replies (5) Good night (2209) Bad night (371)
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  (530): View more from California

  My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.

  (916): View more from California

  That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.

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  (530): My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo. (916): That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone. http://tfl.nu/d9c7
  Replies (1) Good night (2055) Bad night (510)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me

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  (512): Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me http://tfl.nu/ce08
  Replies (5) Good night (617) Bad night (1051)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...

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  (469): I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom... http://tfl.nu/pwb7
  Replies (9) Good night (1097) Bad night (563)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.

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  (541): I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night. http://tfl.nu/uir8
  Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (357)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.

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  (617): The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout. http://tfl.nu/l6bu
  Replies (4) Good night (751) Bad night (305)

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