Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.

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(561): View more from Florida

Bad news is he broke up with me via text message

(561): View more from Florida

But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(239): View more from Florida

I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.

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(706): View more from Georgia

He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer

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