Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  i want you now

  (916): View more from California

  you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

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  (212): i want you now (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this http://tfl.nu/8egt
  Replies (148) Good night (7675) Bad night (70336)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Small penises have feelings too.

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  (573): Small penises have feelings too. http://tfl.nu/ikhv
  Replies (68) Good night (927) Bad night (3885)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?

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  (404): you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you? http://tfl.nu/z87e
  Replies (15) Good night (787) Bad night (2635)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.

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  (724): I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes. http://tfl.nu/hea3
  Replies (18) Good night (1078) Bad night (4184)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'

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  (650): last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.' http://tfl.nu/3iza
  Replies (16) Good night (5606) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.

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  (603): It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim. http://tfl.nu/xioc
  Replies (19) Good night (1408) Bad night (4637)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.

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  (207): Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask. http://tfl.nu/6wlk
  Replies (6) Good night (2921) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.

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  (812): You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down. http://tfl.nu/c4iu
  Replies (6) Good night (3242) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth

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  (716): do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth http://tfl.nu/ncht
  Replies (13) Good night (1296) Bad night (3299)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be

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  (704): Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be http://tfl.nu/xbn0
  Replies (10) Good night (5185) Bad night (1804)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  why would you automatically assume i'm high...

  (240): View more from Maryland

  you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.

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  (301): why would you automatically assume i'm high... (240): you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix. http://tfl.nu/8cui
  Replies (3) Good night (2004) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.

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  (647): I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French. http://tfl.nu/aztk
  Replies (6) Good night (1385) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.

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  (580): The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference. http://tfl.nu/nnsg
  Replies (9) Good night (668) Bad night (1952)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".

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  (305): My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment". http://tfl.nu/9ut4
  Replies (6) Good night (1014) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.

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  (+44): Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding. http://tfl.nu/brfz
  Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (341)

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