i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
