butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
