Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
