two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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