It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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