Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
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IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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