Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
