This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
