Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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