I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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