I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
