plz talk dirty to me
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
