we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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