If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
