Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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