Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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