So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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