His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
