I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
