remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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