did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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