So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
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There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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