Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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