I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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