worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
