Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
