i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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