Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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