We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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