I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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